Up and Away, but Always Held Close


miscarriage

I first learned of a balloon release in honor of lost and stillborn babies last year at a MOPS meeting. The leader was discussing National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, which falls in October. The balloon release is in honor of these babies and happens the same month. She asked the group to raise […]

October 19, 2018

Rainbows


encouragement, faith, miscarriage

Recently I attended a funeral of a dear family friend. The funeral was at the church I grew up in, and for a host of reasons, once I sat down in that pew I could not keep from crying. The kind of crying where the tears just stream, and you feel a thousand different things […]

September 18, 2018

Our August Baby


faith, miscarriage

I walked into the prayer room at our church yesterday, and merely the sight of the oriental rug on those dark wood floors and the Bible perched on the stand in front of the window was enough to trigger my tears. I have frequented that room nearly weekly for the last year. Much of my […]

September 7, 2018

Bittersweet


miscarriage

Our recent trip to Colorado was spontaneous, yet it had been on the horizon for months. In January, when we began to look at the year ahead, Neil wanted us to take a trip to the mountains. He had is heart set on all things outdoors, so it seemed like that was the direction we […]

August 8, 2018

All in a Day


miscarriage, motherhood

We visit our local library on most weeks. It is actually at the very end of our street so we are able to walk to it, which makes me feel like we live in NYC or basically any other city besides Houston. We always bring home a slew of children’s books, and this week we […]

July 5, 2018

The God Who Hears


faith, miscarriage

My eyes scanned the consent form up and down, with each bullet point the knot in my stomach grew. I couldn’t believe this moment was real, that our baby’s heart had stopped beating and we were awaiting the procedure to remove it’s little life from my body. This terrible daytime talk show was on in […]

June 27, 2018

Music to My Ears, Comfort for My Heart


miscarriage

  Happy Hump Day! I mentioned previously that music has been such a powerful source of comfort for me as we waited to become pregnant after our ectopic pregnancy, and most recently, when we lost our baby at nine weeks. A lot of these songs have been my prayer and anthem in many ways, and […]

May 23, 2018

Making Lemonade


miscarriage

  It has been a week since we learned our baby’s heart stopped beating. This small marker in time is a reminder that life does not stop, it marches on. The first few days following our heartbreak are hazy, filled with love from our friends and lots of tears. As the days began to pass, […]

May 17, 2018

Our April Baby


faith, miscarriage

I don’t think I will ever look at the black and white screen produced by an ultrasound machine in the same way ever again. It was on that screen, that we saw our baby for the last time. A baby that we fervently prayed for following a tough loss almost exactly a year before. We […]

May 13, 2018